Things that aren’t talked about in the workplace

“Words work like valves to release pressure”

Don’t be embarrassed about your daily struggle at work, it isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. That is the central message of ‘The Dark Side’, the new book by Peggy De Prins, professor of sustainable HRM at Antwerp Management School. The book was given the intriguing subtitle ‘Things that aren’t talked about in the workplace’. And we wanted to know more about that.

The book is the result of research conducted by De Prins on employee silence, the mirror concept of ‘employee voice’. Because she noticed that, even in organisations excelling in participation, there will be things that aren’t talked about. “And that is unfortunate, because that means that interesting ideas and lines of thought remain under the radar,” she explains. “People are rather quick to think: ‘Oh well, my opinion isn’t that important’.”

Is that the most important reason to remain silent?

De Prins: “That empathic silence is definitely one of the main reasons. Employees don’t want to put their own ‘little issues’ on the table. Others remain silent out of uncertainty. They’re not sure how to voice their idea in a responsible manner. And another reason is cynism or frustration. In those cases, remaining silent becomes a form of silent resistance. ‘I have tried to tell this so many times, but I’m not heard anyway. Why should I even say it?’”

Are some profiles more silent than others?

De Prins: “Yes. Remaining silent is more common among operational employees. They struggle to find the right language or they consider the social distance from the executive more threatening than white-collar workers or executives. But research shows that women also remain silent more often. And young people also think that their voice doesn’t yet carry enough weight. ‘Who am I to already address this?’ they wonder.”

In recent years, there has been a lot of talk about toxic work environments and #MeToo at work. Is it about that too?

De Prins: “Definitely. I think #MeToo was the beginning of a changing zeitgeist. It resulted in more attention being paid to toxic leadership. Ten years ago, nobody, aside from a few academic occupational psychologists, had heard about that concept. But now it is part of our social jargon. Finding words to name certain concepts has accelerated the evolution of our zeitgeist.”

In your book, you focus a lot on words and language. Why?

De Prins: “Words work like valves to address issues that have been simmering below the surface. Words can also comfort people on the dark sides of our jobs or teams. Each job has its dark sides. Each team has its scars. Being able to name them gives the energy needed to address them. We often sweep the dark sides under the rug or we are embarrassed about them. We tend to think we’re the only person struggling with those issues. When in fact it’s so much better to talk about them with your colleagues. It would prevent a lot of burnouts. If we continue presenting things more positively than they are, we are setting unrealistically high standards. Sometimes, things just don’t work out. And there are unpleasant sides to every job. But if the whole team keeps up appearances, people start to doubt themselves and look for the cause in themselves. This way, many work-related causes of burnout are individualised and medicalised. My book is a call to talk about the dark sides. You don’t need to be embarrassed, blame yourself or become cynical.

Because that’s how the quest for more happiness at work leads to less happiness at work…

De Prins: “Let’s be realistic and acknowledge that all jobs have highs and lows. And let’s also cherish that variety. Happiness at work might be an overstretched term. I have seen it grow. Back in the day, we had to be satisfied at work. Then it changed into enjoying our work. And now, happiness at work seems to almost exceed that. There’s nothing wrong with striving for happiness at work. But be realistic. Many employees may not find such high ambitions necessary either. Their passion and life dream lie elsewhere. And that’s perfectly fine too.”

How can managers deal with this?

De Prins: “By setting a good example. Don’t be afraid to discuss certain matters and ask feedback about your managerial skills. Admit to your mistakes. If you expect your team members to admit to them, you should do the same. And be aware of the social distance. During informal moments such as lunchbreak, employees might open up more and you can talk about your own struggles. That helps reducing the distance. But you should also invest in a good relationship with the employee representatives. They know what is important among employees. Embrace that feedback channel!”

What role do the employee representatives play in this regard?

De Prins: “They also need to identify the dark sides of the day-to-day reality. What are employees struggling with? How can we start a dialogue on these issues? Yet again, the right language is important to achieve this. Trade unions have a tendency to communicate in a rather activist and direct way. But discussing matters in a creative, alternative way often helps to better grasp reality.”

Do you follow your own advice?

De Prins: “It’s a process of trial and error. I still love my job. I love the autonomy and the learning opportunities. But I am not happy at work 365 days a year. You’ll never hear me say it’s all sunshine and rainbows. I still curse a lot as well (laughs). And I also see a lot of dark sides to my job that I try to address – sometimes more successfully than other times. In that sense, I really need to put in the hard work.”

Never Work Alone 2024 | Author: Jan Deceunynck | Photo: Dries Luyten